A Matter of Attitude by Darcy Nybo

Author Profile: Darcy Nybo

Darcy Nybo is an award winning author, freelance journalist, online editor, book editor, publisher, word nerd, music lover and all around nut bar.

Canada Online News | Gonzo Online! Columinist

Written by Darcy Nybo

“If you don’t like something, change it.  If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”  Maya Angelou (quoting her mother).

All too often we hear complaints.  Sometimes, the complaints are about things we have no control over, as Mark Twain so aptly pointed out when he quipped “Everyone complains about the weather, but no one does anything about it.”

Complaints bug me. (And yes I realize that I am complaining about complaints, but bear with me, I do do something about it.)

I watch as words like dark goop spill out of people's mouths as they b*tch and complain about things which they feel they have no control over and have no solutions. There may be solutions, but they are far too busy spewing goop to think of any. I believe there are several things in our lives we can control. And with just a little shift in attitude we can find solutions for our complaints.

Everyday I hear people at the supermarket, out walking, working out, at restaurants, and they complain about their in-laws, their jobs, the cost of living, or their health. And when one complains, another swoops in like a seagull on a dead fish, harping away and adding their own bits of negative justification to the complaints, telling their own tale of woe of how something fairly insignificant has ruined their lives, at least in that moment. It makes them feel like they belong.  They have a common bond, even if it is an unhealthy one.  Sometimes I speak up, sometimes I just run away as fast as I can.  Those are my choices. I wish I could somehow make them see that with just a little shift in attitude they would feel better. They could spend that negative energy on finding solutions to those complaints.

We have the ultimate power to change things.  If you don’t like your life – change it.  Gain weight, get a new job, lose weight, cut, grown or colour your hair, eat healthier, change your style, get married, exercise more, move far away, get a divorce, go back to school, get more fresh air, sell your home, dance more, watch TV, sing at the top of your lungs, read more books... do something that changes you or your surroundings.

Richard Bach said, “We generate our own environment. We get exactly what we deserve. How can we resent the life we've created for ourselves? Who's to blame, who's to credit, but us? Who can change it, any time we wish, but us?” 

We are the masters of our own lives, the one who controls us.  There are several things in our lives that we feel are beyond our control, but that doesn't give us the right the blame others.  Dr. Anthony Roberts said, “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”

That is one power I never want to give up.  I like having the power to change, even if it means I have to change my attitude.

I’m not one of those souls who is blessed with an innate ability to have a positive attitude 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  I struggle like most of us to achieve and maintain a positive spin on life.

Remember Earl Nightingale?  He once said, “A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change.”

I like the thought of serendipitous opportunities coming my way.  Knowing that a good attitude brings forth good things is reason enough for me.  Besides, I've seen serendipity in action, and I like it!

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